blink.

have i mentioned that i love playing cupid? well, i do. =D

it is official. being emo enables me to embarass myself on a whole new level. joy. about the past two posts, i was incredibly jiwang at the time of writing. i am going back to edit them. yes. i do believe that's what i'll do.

its really nice hearing from friends that you haven't talked to in a long time. very nice indeed. ahem. today, we went to go eat malay food. let me confess that spices are not my strong suit. not wanting to complain, i choked down all the rendang and curry that was placed in front of me, eyes watering, mouth burning. being the kiasu person that i am, i restrained myself from downing my entire glass of apple juice. i just smiled(grimaced) and went yeah its really good.

Can you believe it, the food that nearly sent me to an early death was 'bland' by the standards of normal people? honestly, i need to get out more.

today was my 'happy day'. today, i woke up all smiley, in a perfectly good mood, ready to get up, hug someone, and (god forbid) make a joke. today i was so happy, i was waltzing around the bathroom as i got ready, singing bear necessities. (ahh so THATS what killed the cat)

just for the heck of it, today i shall be listing a few...
examples of my bimboticness.

1. Rebekah: Revenge... a sweet four-lettered word.

2. Azz: I'm sorry, i don't talk to pretty people. Oh, hi rebekah!
Rebekah (attempted insult): Well, then you must talk to yourself a hell lot!... Wait... (Azz and Mien start laughing their asses off)

3. Rebekah: Isn't ammonia, like, that organism thingy? the one we learnt in form one? (draws [badly] picture of amoeba) like that?
Hui Mian: Beka... thats an amoeba.
Rebekah: NO its an ammonia!

4. (rebekah ties rubberband around thumb too tightly)
Rebekah: HWEEE MIANNN i think its cutting off my circulation! (waves thumb about helplessly)

5. (Rebekah's genius theory on how the world will end)
Rebekah: You know there's like a hole in the atmosphere?
Hui Mian: You mean ozone.
Rebekah: Yes, exactly. What if all the oxygen and gas and stuff leaked out of that hole into space? Then space won't be a vacuum anymore, cos it'd have gas, see. Then space wouldn't be spacious and then all the planets would fall down.
Hui Mian: WHAT??

blended.

I've been told I have nice eyelashes. I have yet to see them.

I am cold and its not just the airconditioning. I am shivering in my lilac dress at frequent intervals. Its bad enough that the damn dress doesn't have enough material and is exposing an indecent amount of leg, the airconditioner is at its coldest and is pointing right at me. Lets throw a couple of blood-thirsty mosquitios into the mix and you have my current situation.

but aside from cold-ness in terms of temperature, i am cold, in an emo way. i feel sad and angry but i dont know at what. i feel lost and alone, pathetic and useless, worried and stressed. i feel lifeless, dead. i want to cry but i cant. i think its the lack of sleep coming into effect or whatever.

can you hate someone for no reason in particular? can you hate that person so bad, you wouldn't mind sticking a meat cleaver into his/her back? i am hating someone for no reason right about now. cibai. god i am seriously one hell of a troubled person.

I'm not myself today. I'm sorry.

slap myself.

i have never been the most outgoing person in the world. the only time i am bubbly & lively is when i'm with my friends. without them, i turn into a big fat wallflower. And I hate it.

without a person to cling to, i wither. its kinda sad actually. i just sit there quietly, doe-eyed, and only talk when talked to. i piss myself off. i cant bring myself to say a thing or do anything. i dont take the initiative to talk to people unless they make an initiative to talk to me. it makes me seem sombong but really, i'm not.

i am not a natural at making friends. I freeze up around new people and it takes forever to get me to say something. i cannot flirt to save my life, i am forever sarcastic yet i fail to think of a witty comeback until a whole minute has passed and the topic has changed (in the words of Homer : D'oh!)

the whole affair makes me want to slap myself.